Enough with Imposter Syndrome!
Welcome to my very first blog posting! And, let me tell you, folks, this has not been easy for me. In fact, it has been downright torturous to figure out exactly what kind of message I want to convey as I introduce myself as Eileen Brill, Author. Should I go for inspirational? Informative? Entertaining? Persuasive? In an internet world crowded with so much stuff – opinions, musings, arguments, anecdotes – how can I be authentic and still hold your attention?
As I was completing my manuscript over a year ago, I was not yet referring to myself as an author because, in my mind, to be labelled as such means that others have paid for and read my material. And, to some extent, I did feel like a phony, as if I had snapped my fingers and Presto! I am now an author! Except it certainly did not happen at the snap of my fingers but, rather, off and on over a span of twelve years, the last two being periods of intense writing. Once the manuscript was finished, I had a wonderful feeling of accomplishment and pride, yet I was still hesitant to tell very many people anything about the book or even the mere fact I’d written one. I wasn’t “ready” for the attention, the inevitable questions, the judgments I perceived some people would have about my thinking I can actually write a book. It was at this point, when I considered that the eyes of other people were going to be viewing the fruit of my creativity, that my insecurity kicked in.
Turns out, I’m not alone. I’ve since spoken with many authors who feel or have felt similarly, which is unfortunate on many levels.
So, to all of you out there who complain about feeling like imposters at whatever it is you are currently doing or attempting to do…STOP IT! Those who know and love you are likely so stinkin’ happy for you and impressed you’re doing what you do that they aren’t seeing you in a negative light; those who don’t know you will either judge you to be worthy of praise or not, and your feelings of inauthenticity will not be on their radar in the slightest. The problem is not that you are a fraud or undeserving of accolades. The issue is that our society is too geared around identifying individuals by WHAT they are as opposed to WHO they are. Professional labels have become way too important in shaping our identities, maybe because of our emphasis on achievement, success, and excellence. We conflate income with authenticity, i.e., if you’re not actually making money from what you do, then you’re not really that thing you claim to be. Can I call myself an author if I’ve yet to earn a dollar from my writing? How about once my book is published and I can hold it in my hand or see it on a Kindle? Is that the point at which I “become” an author?
Here’s the thing: When I write for myself, I’m a writer. When I submit a short story to a literary magazine and it gets published, I’m a writer. When my manuscript is accepted for publication, I’m a writer. If I sell not even one book, I’m still a writer. I write, therefore I am!
And so are you. Whatever it is you do for yourself or for others, in your profession or spare time, for pay or for emotional gratification, please understand that your authenticity does not end the moment you share your artistic and creative pursuits with the world. Your talents are not validated exclusively by a paycheck, profit or rave reviews. If blood, sweat and tears, not to mention pure joy and contentment, went into creating something you want the world to see, kudos to you! You are no fraud.
This notion of Imposter Syndrome is self-destructive and, ultimately, rather irrelevant because it negates the reasons we produce works of art and literature in the first place: as part of being sentient beings and not islands unto ourselves. Let’s put an end to the concept of Imposter Syndrome, once and for all. You’ve put a piece of yourself out into the universe and there is nothing more authentic than that.
