When I initiated the process of producing an audiobook version of A Letter in the Wall, friends would ask why I wasn’t going to do the narration myself instead of hiring a professional voice actor. While there are some authors who’ve voiced their own books, it is definitely not a quick and easy process for a variety of reasons. And it was not something I felt prepared in any way to take on, so I proceeded to solicit auditions from voice actors.

As we all know, time is a continuum; there really is no beginning nor end regardless of which increment we define: years, days, hours. And, yet, we reflect on the year winding down while we welcome the new one, as if one doesn't actually flow into the next.

I often consider the term self-actualization. I’m not sure exactly how someone determines that they have self-actualized – that they’ve fulfilled their potential as human beings. But it seems like a challenging and confusing, albeit admirable, way to live your life.

Recently, I led a one-night course on crafting fiction based on actual events. While I don’t claim to be an expert on the subject, my research for A Letter in the Wall spanned several decades and was made up of bits and pieces of truth mixed in with a ton of speculation. It required me to continually decide how much I wanted to include what I knew about the individual whose letter inspired my story.

I recently resumed a daily practice of writing “morning pages”, the exercise suggested and elucidated by Julie Cameron in her 1992 book The Artist’s Way. A year or two before I hunkered down to write what would become A Letter in the Wall, someone told me about Cameron’s inspirational course/workbook/guide, and it definitely was instrumental in helping me form the habits which would lead to my starting, and completing, my first novel.

Omg, my attention span feels slightly diminished of late. It seems as if every time I sit down to accomplish something, I am (or allow myself to be) pulled in an entirely different direction. This has not, historically, been an issue for me. I’ve prided myself on my ability to multitask, take breaks, focus when necessary, be productive, create daily to-do lists, prioritize and limit screen-time. I’ve attributed the effectiveness of my executive functioning to not being on social media.

I was recently interviewed by the illustrious Hank Phillippi Ryan, the USA Today bestselling author of thirteen suspense novels, winner of five Agatha awards and one Mary Higgins Clark award. She is also an on-air investigative reporter for Boston’s WHDH-TV, with 37 EMMYs and dozens more journalism honors. It was a thrilling and entirely new experience for this novice author.

To follow is an excerpt from the Author’s Note which appears at the end of my book. A recent reader of an advance copy of the book posted in her review that, for her, it would have been helpful to have this information at the beginning of the book, for context and to better appreciate how I created Joan, the protagonist. From this particular reviewer’s comments, it seems like she struggled with this very complicated, often frustrating, main character, and that served to bias her against the storyline. I get it. Even readers who loved the novel felt like they were riding on an emotional roller-coaster with Joan. That’s good!

When I signed with Spark Press back in October of 2020, I had so little sense of the progression of a story from manuscript into published novel. I did not know at the time that the easiest part of this journey ended when I wrote the words “The End”, despite the fact that I had spoken with numerous authors about their experiences, and every single one told me how much work goes into marketing a book. It’s often the case that one doesn’t fully understand a process until fully immersed in it.

I just finished reading So Big by Edna Ferber, an author whose work I may never had read had I not discovered a “Grandparent Book” in my mother’s belongings after she died in 2019. As a result, not only have I been exposed to an enjoyable novel by a talented writer, but I also feel more connected to my mother even after her death. It’s as if she has posthumously given me a gift.

I’ve always considered myself a fairly low-stress individual, someone you might refer to as “mellow” or “laid-back” or, more modernly, “chill”, as in that Eileen Brill is so chill, she’s all peace-love-granola.

I’m discovering that my self-image may be just a tad biased.

That’s not to say that I’m highly anxious either. But wearing what I perceive to be a low-stress mindset as a badge of honor might not be in my best interest if I’m not being truthful with myself.

Sometimes when I’m falling asleep, lying in the comfort of my bed and soft, cotton sheets, I am struck with the following thought: What if my life were such that I knew when I woke up in the morning, the day would not be mine to shape as I see fit? No decision involving my body, my mind, my opinions, or my future would belong to me, but rather, to another human being, establishment or government.

So, it has been a few weeks since I last posted a blog. What have I been busy with? Writing minimally (feeling “stuck”, but not concerned – yet!), and painting again, which makes me feel enchantingly liberated. I have also been (begrudgingly) spending time on social media, specifically, Instagram and Facebook. Fortunately, I dislike the process enough to not get sucked into the social media vortex which often leads to FOMO and other depressive states.

I found an old cassette tape in my mother’s belongings after she died and I recently converted it into an mp3 file. The 1970 recording is me at the age of six discussing the Vietnam War. It was a weighty subject for a young child, but my family was very politically active and even took me on a peace march in D.C. during which the crowd was sprayed with tear gas, so I had some context.

Not long ago, I came across a VHS tape from my mother’s surprise 60th birthday party in 1991. Holding the dusty old tape in its cardboard container, I recalled putting together the guest list for the party weeks in advance and needing to gather addresses, physical addresses, of guests, in order to mail invitations.

About 15 years ago I had a conversation with a newly-published debut author who described his path from the first inkling of an idea to publication of his novel which he described as a seven-year process.

Welcome to my very first blog posting! And, let me tell you, folks, this has not been easy for me. In fact, it has been downright torturous to figure out exactly what kind of message I want to convey as I introduce myself as Eileen Brill, Author.